tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15430504801504961572024-03-13T05:55:11.360-07:00paper flowers bring me luckHex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-60394031598215938622020-01-15T21:37:00.001-08:002020-01-15T21:37:45.148-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-5142460193680289122016-12-05T07:31:00.000-08:002016-12-05T07:31:39.845-08:0026who am i ? where have i been?<br />
<br />
i'm always changing and stressing out over the changes but it's inevitable, right? flowers grow trees grow people grow... if they're lucky, that is.<br />
<br />
i knew growing up was a thing but i never actually thought that it was something that <i>i</i> would have to deal with it. i grew up thinking that growing up was a very far away, distant thing. and then, all of a sudden, i'm 26. i never consented to this!<br />
<br />
we learned recently in my child development class that teenagers literally believe that all of the experiences and feelings in their lives are 100% unique... nobody else in the history of the world has ever felt what they've felt! teenagers also wholeheartedly believe in their own invincibility, really, truly believe in it. i'd give anything to have that confidence back, to be that naive, that open to possibilities.<br />
<br />
in life<br />
<br />
you fall down, you get up, you fall down, you get up, you fall down, you get up, you fall down.<br />
<br />
you stay down.<br />
<br />
nobody ever warns you about the times when life knocks you down and you can't. get. the fuck. up. honestly, sometimes life knocks your ass down and when you get up, you're different. you just can't go back to the way you were before you were knocked the fuck down, it's not possible. and that's the yucky unfun part about growing up for me. i've lost bits of me and aspects of myself over the years. i've lost friends and houses and pets and towns and family and it's fucking surreal. it really is.<br />
<br />
i asked my roommate, vinny, "does it ever stop feeling weird? getting older?" and he laughed and shook his head and replied, "no. no, it doesn't." <br />
<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-51877668342002978372016-07-05T14:42:00.002-07:002016-07-05T14:42:50.438-07:00Christopher Kane Versus Versace Fall 2010 <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2QYcJ2Lr2sw/UT_WVHb6JWI/AAAAAAAACXE/CZEEt0-B1wUi09iqMZAuBjWQQx3Nd2a9gCKgB/s1600/05fullscreen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2QYcJ2Lr2sw/UT_WVHb6JWI/AAAAAAAACXE/CZEEt0-B1wUi09iqMZAuBjWQQx3Nd2a9gCKgB/s640/05fullscreen.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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I really love the alienesque quality of these dresses. I need something super structured and colorful and metallic in my life right about now, I think. </div>
<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-90941473657541781152016-02-08T23:46:00.003-08:002016-07-05T10:32:00.723-07:00Closer To You<iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/246162695&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false" width="100%"></iframe>
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<center>
<br /><br /><big><big>i made a song! kinda... this is a rly rough version on my phone, but, hey, it's something creative! hope you enjoy.</big></big><br /><br />LYRICS:<br /><br />
in stressful situations<br />
i need constant stimulation<br />
to keep me from destroying myself<br /><br />
and my entire life is<br />
a stressful situation<br />
imploding in on itself<br /><br />
i'm sorry for being aloof<br />
i just learned not to<br />
expose my<br />
vulnerabilities<br />
so I climb on the roof<br />
and get too drunk<br />
cus it's more comfortable<br />
not giving a fuck<br />
not giving a fuck<br /><br />
pour me another shot so<br />
i can feel closer to you (x3)<br /><br />
i spent years of my life<br />
asleep on other people's couches<br />
trying to figure out<br /><br />
why my nails are bitten down<br />
and why i feel like i'm <br />
not in control of myself<br /><br />
i'm sorry for being aloof <br />
i just learned not to<br />
expose my<br />
vulnerabilities<br />
so i climb on the roof<br />
and i drink too much<br />
cus it's more comfortable<br />
not giving a fuck<br />
not giving a fuck<br /><br />
pour me another shot so<br />
I can feel closer to you (x3)<br /><br />
i wore the same jeans for a couple of months<br />
avoided the cracks in the sidewalk<br />
we fed ants in the street<br />
in the sweet summer heat<br />
little johnny and me<br />
until he stomped them. <br />
i couldn't stop him.<br /><br />
sorry for being aloof<br />
i just learned not to<br />
expose my<br />
vulnerabilities<br />
so i climb on the roof<br />
and get too drunk<br />
cus it's more comfortable<br />
not giving a fuck<br />
not giving a fuck<br /><br />
pour me another shot so<br />
i can feel closer to you (x3)</center>
Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-21514685503805831642015-11-16T11:18:00.002-08:002016-07-06T09:09:35.213-07:00Outfit #01<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I hardly ever post outfit pics, which is something I'm trying to work on. The problem is that I'm too tall to fit in my webcam, which means I'm going to have to break my camera out at some point, and I'm just so lazy u_u plus I always forget to charge the battery. I always ALWAYS forget to charge things, everything. </div>
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I'm also thinking of taking pics of all my clothes so I can post outfit details. Is that crazy? Probably, but then again, so am I.</div>
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In this pic I'm wearing my black leggings w/some tights underneath to keep warm, because it's finally somewhat chilly in Southern California, and my bright yellow fuzzy socks. Underneath my oversized jean shirt w/crayons on the pocket I have on a comfortable and old black and white striped crop top that I'm very fond of. I didn't wash my hair for like, 5 days so I just braided it and piled it on top of my head, a very popular look I've come to realize. I constantly get complimented on this hairstyle even though it's the laziest thing I know how to do. Gooo figure. The only makeup I'm wearing is some foundation and my NYX bright red matte lipstick because it was actually like 7 something in the morning and I was on my way to a Dr.'s appointment and who has time to really do their makeup at 7 something in the morning? unless you're a Superwoman, which is SO not the case for me.</div>
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Anyhow, hope your week is going alright so far!</div>
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-15957366928016392772015-10-26T20:43:00.001-07:002016-07-05T10:34:28.044-07:00things i need in order to become more successful creatively <br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>a new computer: my computer just died, sadly. or is in the process of dying. it's an old laptop and it barely ran anyway but <i>still... </i>super depressing!</li>
</ul>
<br />
<li>a phone: yeah... it's 2015, i'm 25, and i do not have a phone. when i DO get a phone, tho, i want it to be hella hi tech in order to make up for all of the years that i've spent being cut off from the rest of humanity. i want a phone so i can post on the go ! i need it to stay connected to everyone ! and most importantly i need it so i can post all of my selfies on instagram! LIKE A HUMAN BEING, GODDAMNIT!</li>
<li>a tablet: no, no... not another fancy device simply for posting selfies, i mean a <i>drawing</i> tablet, and a NICE ONE, so I can make the arts. </li>
<li>ink for my printer: it would be really nice to print out reference photos to take w/me on the go. </li>
<li>more toy cameras: for my zine, duh. also i want to document my life. i never got over the whole hipster thing where people use film cameras. i LIKE the artsyfartsyness of it all. call me a cliche, idgaf.</li>
<li>new pens: art pens! gosh, all of my old ones dried out. i need some cool new ones for inking.</li>
<li>copic markers: the more, the better. i love the bold colors. i thoroughly enjoy working w/markers.</li>
<li>gauche paint: i've never used this kind of watercolor before, but apparently it's the paint i've been dreaming of. i've always preferred watercolor in the past but found it to be frustrating to work w/when you're trying to get a bold color. layer after layer after layer of paint, and alllll of that waiiiiiiiting like YAWN. i've heard that gauche paint is a more opaque watercolor, and that is music to my ears, truly, cus who has time for that shit? idk people with patience. not me.</li>
<li>BETTER ART PROGRAMS: ???</li>
<li>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$</li>
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I know... it seems like a lot, and it is. I'm mostly wondering if anyone has any suggestions or tips on how to acquire some or all of the above in a cost effective manner. If you have any suggestions, please, let me know! I have no idea what kind of computer to buy, or phone, or tablet, or art pens. I NEED HELP and I'm not afraid to admit it. So, internet... please help me. If you have a favorite pen for inking, let me know. If you think copic markers are a ripoff because ________ has cheaper ones and are essentially the same, leave a comment. If you know where to find reasonably priced printer ink, holla@me. I would really appreciate it. Hope everyone is having a nice day!</div>
Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-13570612447367431402015-10-26T01:55:00.002-07:002015-10-26T01:58:30.965-07:00Summer Seems So Long Ago<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-14978765821627006942015-08-25T23:24:00.001-07:002015-10-26T00:27:15.029-07:00why?an airplane droned across the sky<br>
a small white line appearing through the blinds<br>
you told me that you could always predict good days<br>
and tried to make my bad ones better<br>
sweater weather brought us together but<br>
i never felt romantically inclined i never wanted to<br>
kiss you<br>
but i wanted to be close i needed<br>
someone to love me<br>
my frizzy hair like a halo in the light<br>
my lipstick stains on cigarettes<br>
i never meant for it to be serious i just liked drinking<br>
and driving and talking and laughing and dancing and doing<br>
basically everything with you<br>
we were never together so we could never break up but<br>
when you stopped hanging around i felt like something was<br>
broken something was really wrong<br>
we cried together and held hands and you<br>
clung to me in the night and<br>
came to me in the pouring rain with cookies and hot chocolate<br>
i'll never forget us even though<br>
i'm just a lipstick smudge in your memory now<br>
and probably not even<br>
that<br>Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-61264398064727085142015-08-24T22:34:00.001-07:002015-10-26T00:33:36.610-07:00A doodle a day<div dir="ltr">
I'm trying to keep creating even though at times its a struggle for me, unfortunately. Going outside helps. I've been reading books more, too. I hope I can keep this attitude up for at least a little bit ~ </div>
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<a href="http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-UeVnlAp0GLc/Vdv-clc-EII/AAAAAAAADgs/Xi-K0lNhXUk/s1600/its-me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" height="400" src="http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-UeVnlAp0GLc/Vdv-clc-EII/AAAAAAAADgs/Xi-K0lNhXUk/s400/its-me.jpg" width="400" /> </a> </div>
Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-47230705468771418252015-06-08T04:09:00.001-07:002015-06-08T04:32:02.994-07:00Sweet Summer<div style="margin: 0 auto; width: 600px;">
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<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/sweet_summer/set?.embedder=2995095&.svc=blogger&id=163896155" target="_blank"><img alt="Sweet Summer" border="0" src="http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/vtuF92DXiKV3FJVZZUSw/cid/163896155/id/bHC6yM4N5RGtwC7Hmu7EJQ/size/c600x516.jpg" height="516" title="Sweet Summer" width="600" /></a></div>
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<small><a href="http://www.polyvore.com/sweet_summer/set?.embedder=2995095&.svc=blogger&id=163896155" target="_blank">Sweet Summer</a> by <a href="http://mutantlizardgirl.polyvore.com/?.embedder=2995095&.svc=blogger" target="_blank">mutantlizardgirl</a> </small><br />
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<small>To be fair, this isn't a very functional outfit if you actually plan on, you know, <i>riding</i> the skateboard, but in my imagination this person has a pair of vans in their backpack jussssst in case.</small><br />
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<small>I entered some contest on polyvore and the theme was "bright summer dresses" ! I mean, I think I captured the essence of summer in this set. At the very least, a dress can't get much brighter than this one. I don't think I'll win or anything, I just felt like doing something creative and it's 4 in the morning so I didn't want to have to think about it. Polyvore is so soothing in the sense that you can fit colors and shapes together in any way imaginable. Everyone should make a polyvore and add me! Now I really do need to go to bed !!!</small></div>
Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-4701804589530581382015-06-05T12:31:00.001-07:002015-06-08T04:32:32.347-07:00gALLERY gIRL<div style="margin: 0 auto; width: 600px;">
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<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/gallery_girl/set?.embedder=2995095&.svc=blogger&id=163591970" target="_blank"><img alt="gALLERY gIRL" border="0" src="http://cfc.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/.sig/hiFtAgvypoPNQK4IXfYgQ/cid/163591970/id/kAYehrkL5RGZfQIoJx98cQ/size/c600x459.jpg" height="459" title="gALLERY gIRL" width="600" /></a></div>
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<small><a href="http://www.polyvore.com/gallery_girl/set?.embedder=2995095&.svc=blogger&id=163591970" target="_blank">gALLERY gIRL</a> by <a href="http://mutantlizardgirl.polyvore.com/?.embedder=2995095&.svc=blogger" target="_blank">mutantlizardgirl</a> </small><br />
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<small>A set I made recently. </small></div>
Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-44348740742389132982015-06-04T14:48:00.003-07:002015-06-05T03:57:13.018-07:00gIRL<div style="margin: 0 auto; width: 600px;">
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<a href="http://www.polyvore.com/girl/set?.embedder=2995095&.svc=blogger&id=163442037" target="_blank">gIRL</a> by <a href="http://mutantlizardgirl.polyvore.com/?.embedder=2995095&.svc=blogger" target="_blank">mutantlizardgirl</a> <br />
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It's been awhile since I've posted about #fashun on this blog. I guess I was depressed? Or uninspired? Self conscious? I stopped taking pics of myself and I completely stopped making things? I guess that's the way it goes when you have depression! Anyhow, I've been drawing more and making things and getting dressed so that's really good! And now I can post more about my silly polyvore sets that I make.<br />
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I'm terrible at giving things relevant titles. When I imagine the gIRL who would wear this, I think of a tough chick who listens to twee and who goes to shows a lot? Of course, everything I create is something that I would wear so I suppose this gIRL is an alter ego of mine... a self that has $$$ cash money $$$. I'm trying to accumulate more of a wardrobe. I don't really look good in those saggy boyfriend jeans that are SO COOL right now which is a bummer cause when people pull it off it really does look SO COOL and laid back and chill. I wanna be laid back and chill, wtf. I'm tall and big so it's hard enough just finding pants, let alone aesthetically pleasing hip cool guy pants!<br />
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I'm thinking of opening up an online shop to sell junk that I find since I see so many people online doing it seemingly successfully? So, pretty soon I hope to open up a store. My plan is to use the money I make selling clothes for buying clothes, that way I have some kind of disposable income. Similarly, I want to try selling my artsy fartsy stuff so I can have fundS to make more artsy farsty stuff. If anyone has any advice on this subject and would be willing to help me out, please, feel free to comment or even send me an email!<br />
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Oh, and another thing, I'm going to be redoing the look of my blog soon. Idk to what yet but all of my image links are breaking and I'm kindof over the scrolling, dizzying floral background. If you have any thoughts or ideas or opinions, let me know in the comments!<br />
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ANYHOO, what do you think of this lOOK? I just want to keep making things to make things, like Andy Warhol said, just make more art, let other people decide if they like it or not! </div>
Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-8974774115546565612015-04-15T19:08:00.000-07:002015-10-26T09:51:55.077-07:00i won't even make excuses about not posting anymore. i just... don't. lack of motivation, probably. i finished all of glee that's on netflix, tho.<br />
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that's important.<br />
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today i actually rode my BIKE through the PARK on my way to buy crap from my work. i contemplated bringing a camera w/me of some kind, but i psyched myself out thinking i was going to lose or break it, so i left everything at home except for my backpack, wallet, ipod and headphones. it was an interesting ride, to say the least. i put on a cute outfit (well, imo? it was simple, but spring-y. i should've taken pics but i never take pics because AWKWARD)<br />
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i was listening to music and cruising through the park when i saw this old guy who had come into my work the other day to buy stuff just sitting on the grass by the side of the road, under some measly baby trees. he's in a wheelchair, and as i rolled up to where he was sitting, it became apparent that he was homeless. we talked for a second, he told me his name was larry, and he asked me if i could bring him back some orange and grape soda, from big lots. i agreed, of course. he tried to give me some money but i was like, c'mon dude. i'm not gonna make you pay for some soda, i got it. i promised to return w/the soda and went on my way.<br />
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everyone complimented my colorful hat when i went in, which was super nice since most of my friends have been telling me that it's a "grandma hat" which should've stayed at the kmart for all eternity, where it belongs. i bought the soda and my other junk and some water for the dude because ... guy, you gotta hydrate... you can't just have soda all day. you know? and then i immediately rode the soda/water down to him and gave him the 5 bucks i had in cash in my pocket (which was covered in weird pocket sweat and prly gross but what's a girl 2 do) and told him to come by biglots sometime to let me know how he was doing. i wish i could've moved him somewhere better to sleep... he was trying to set up a tent right where he was sitting and i knew right away that he would be chased out of there by some cops sooner or later... but there really isn't a good spot for a disabled homeless man in a wheelchair to set up camp anywhere nearby, so, idk. i was on my bike and carrying shit so there's not much i could've done, plus i was alone w/a random dude, that always sketches me out. i guess i'm just going to worry about him for a bit.<br />
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the wind was really nice and i rode through the streets jamming to my tunes and it was alright.<br />
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-51108601225039526772015-03-02T15:41:00.003-08:002015-03-02T15:41:31.246-08:00had a secret party over the weekend...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-58249313123171308332015-02-27T18:28:00.002-08:002015-02-27T18:28:33.095-08:00outfit post!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I don't normally get dressed, mainly because the only time I ever leave my house is to go to work @ Big Lots and we're required to wear uniforms, so, no creativity for me )o: !</div>
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I had today, off, though, so I decided to put on an outfit. It felt good, I miss doing it, I miss getting to dress up and wear cute skirts and blue lipstick. I truly h8 working sometimes, it sucks all the fun out of LIFE working for the MAN, man!!! UGH! But at least I can afford to buy things like thrifted blue hi-waisted skirts and cool socks, otherwise I'd be really, really depressed about life.</div>
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Nothing puts me in a better mood than a well coordinated outfit. Nothing. In fact, I was trying to post more selfies this year in an attempt to capture all of my crazy outfits, but as usual I flaked out almost instantly due to my anxiety. I really have to push myself to keep posting! And taking pics! And documenting life! And drawing! Because it helps make me feel better about things. When Jeff gets back from driving, he's going to help me learn how to use his cameras, that way I can actually make outfit posts on this blog finally! I'm pretty excited about that.<br /><br /> Anyhow, I hope to someday post a selfie a day! That's my goal. I love going back and looking @ old pics, but I h8 taking pics, so it's definitely something I have to work on to be more comfortable w/posting current photos. I <i>am</i> kinda weird I suppose. My belief is that owning a smart phone might make it easier for me to document my life but we won't know until my tax return comes in and I buy my new phone !!! now, will we? Which I am also stoked about because I feel like a total old freak for not being constantly tuned into social media like everyone else! I just wanna fit it, Mom!<br /><br /> Alright, I'm pretty much done now. I just wanted to let you guys know that I totally plan on posting here way more often this year, starting... now!</div>
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Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-57665434187738143072015-02-16T10:40:00.000-08:002015-10-26T09:54:13.196-07:00being 25 It really is strange, growing older. I feel like I just molt in and out of personalities over time, totally ditching the past me's and becoming a different person each and every day, little by little.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">"</span><b style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">'I could tell you my adventures — beginning from this morning," said Alice a little timidly: "but it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then."</b></td></tr>
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I'm about to turn 25, and I feel like I'm finally at a point in my life where I now have an elusive <i>past</i>. Like, I can say casually in conversation that high school was ten years ago for me, or that I have friends who have been my friends for 10+ YEARS, that kind of thing. I have a history now, some baggage to carry around, some shit to regret, some exes to hate... It's interesting. I probe around the past in my head, feeling true nostalgia for the first time, finally knowing what it's like to love and live and lose an entire generation, a whole childhood, gone.</div>
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I'm not sure how I feel about growing up, yet. I know that it's supposed to be normal to feel bad about getting older, to be scared, to fear mortality, wrinkles, becoming ugly, etc.... but I also know that just because something is "normal" in this society, doesn't mean that it should be. I'm trying to embrace my age, not fear or resent it as much as I have in the past. I'm a Peter Pan kindof girl at heart, never wanting to grow up, always ready for an adventure, but that doesn't mean that I have to avoid doing my taxes, or stay up until 4am every morning watching GLEE when I know I have shit to do the next day. I'm an adult now. I could rent a car if I wanted to! Forget the fact that I'm terrified of driving and dream with me for a moment here, people! </div>
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Needless to say, I do not feel 25, at all. The last 6 years whooshed past me and I'm really not sure what to do, aside from writing really long and mournful journal entries about it. My youth, my true youth, is gone. Older people will tell me that I'm still young, but really, I'm not. I'll never be 17 again, listening to bad emo bands or dreaming about getting the perfect scene haircut whilst scrolling through the Neopets roleplaying boards, and that will never be me again (although I <i>am</i> thinking of bringing the scene mullet back just for funsies). Does it not blow anyone else's mind that Panic! At the Disco's debut album just turned 10 years old? I mean, seriously. Alt Emo can't be retro yet, I'm not ready!</div>
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Additionally, I really feel like I'm losing touch with the younger generations, to a certain extent. The whole everyone-has-a-smart-phone thing is weird, and since I don't even have one, I find myself slipping further and further behind. Actually, the whole everyone-uses-the-internet thing is weird for me, too, since when I was younger the 'net wasn't as widely accepted as it is now. Kids look up youtube videos in strollers and 4 year olds take selfies. I'm intrigued, however, by this new youth. I'm excited to see what comes from them, with their tech-savvy-ness, which is now a word. And I really don't believe the whole "we were the last generation to play in the street" garbage that you see people in their 30's spamming on facebook. I see kids playing outside all of the time! Hello, smart phones are fucking portable, technology isn't keeping children indoors! Ask my neighbors, their kids are constantly screaming and running up and down the street, just like we did. So I really don't know what the fuck old people are going on about when they write off this next generation of kids as being lazy technosnobs obsessed with taking selfies. If we had the technology available to us as younguns, we would've went for it. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm optimistic. I see more and more younger people getting involved politically, thanks to the internet. I see creative kids posting online, making things, networking, in ways adults don't even know how to do. I'm impressed by our youth, if anything. I don't find them to be apathetic at all. I think adults need to spend more time actually talking to their kids and less time reposting smack about them on social media sites, although the kinds of parents who do this are also probably the kinds of parents who continuously post cringe-worthy, borderline racist articles for all of the family to see on facebook, so it s possible that they just don't have a lot in common with their more socially aware children, I don't know. I just think kids are amazing and I'm going to miss being one.</div>
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In a way, however, it's nice being the old fogey. I'm done being the stupid kid (for the most part) learning all of those harsh life lessons that you gotta learn in order to function properly as an adult, like, for example, that doing 10 shots of anything in a row on an empty stomach is just plain stupid. Sometimes you just have to live to learn, man. I now KNOW my alcohol limit. I can actually feel myself go from buzzed to drunk, and then stop drinking. It's amazing, I know, but trust me, someday, underage person drinking, you, too, will know your booze limit. It's only a matter of time. You may also learn what kindof guys to avoid, which haircuts look good and which haircuts... don't, who your real friends are, how high school was a complete joke, among many other valuable lessons. Am I done learning? No, of course not. But I do feel like I've made a pretty solid foundation for growth in my teens and early 20's through some major trial and error. So, it's nice having most of that shit be behind me, in the sense that it's no longer in front of me, but I now have to deal with the memories. And memories are weird and sad and almost like dreams, at times, so it really is super strange getting older and growing up. I'm new to it, too. I've never been old before. Your mind changes, your body changes, everything around you and about you changes, really, but your past stays exactly the fucking same.<br />
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Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-73408076016978998522014-06-25T20:17:00.002-07:002014-06-25T23:54:40.829-07:00in some ways, i wish i could re-do being a teenage girl, because i SO would've dressed better.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
hey, boy... why you didn't call me?</div>
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in some ways, i wish i could re-do being a teenage girl, because i SO would've dressed better.</div>
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at heart, i suppose i've always been a bit of a tomboy. i grew up without my mom and my sister always seemed really alien to me, wrapped up in her 90's teenage girl world. it intrigued and confused me, the way my sister applied makeup and fixed her hair. i had scraggley, out of control locks from the minute my bald head decided to start sprouting curls. basically, i suffered from dad hair for most of my life, which manifested itself in the form of a single ponytail slicked back with a scrunchie. classic.</div>
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i wasn't a hardcore tomboy, though. i connected with femininity. it was foreign, but it didn't disgust me... i just didn't know how to step through that veil into that... world. i thought girls were pretty. they had nice hair, and cute clothes, and always seemed to know exactly what the "cool" thing was. my older sister was a fascination of mine. i would steal her clothes, play dress up, and try on her makeup, which drove her insane, but i never felt confident enough to ask for help. like, haha, for example... i asked her about her period once and she scrunched her pretty nose at me, "ew! don't ever talk to me about that again!" she huffed, before disappearing into the bathroom. i was like, 11, at the time, and she was 16. i didn't know what the big deal was... i just wanted to know the age that she started because the health person at school said i would probably start around the same time as my mother but, since my mother wasn't around to ask i asked my older sister. my mistake. our relationship at the time was strained, to put it lightly. i mean, my sister was not ready to be my mother, answering mommy questions... she wanted to be my snotty older sister. and i get that, so i don't hold it against her, although, idk, i always connected really well with the characters in t.v. shows who have truly evil siblings. my sister was possibly one of the worst.</div>
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but w/e, that's ancient history. the point is, i was interested in being "pretty", but i didn't fucking know how to pull it off. i was lost and i was scared. girl clothes felt tight on me, they clung in all the wrong places and made me feel weird. when i got to middle school, people just thought i dressed weird. i didn't even have very many clothes, honestly, because my dad never wanted me to wear anything that i liked and i didn't even really know what i liked, anyway. and once i started knowing what i liked it was FAR too weird for my dad to spend money on, apparently... like, bright green converse. because... what could i possibly wear them with? um... idk dad? everything? literally everything. i ended up acquiring sequined green converse hightops from the goodwill that i strung ugly, neon orange laces through before proceeding to wear them with everything, literally everything. \m/ with bright purple tights and a polka dot knee length skirt, both either hand-me-downs or, tbh, stolen (although i'm not really proud of that fact now but it's the truth). shirts that show my boobs have never been particularly comfortable for me, at first because i didn't have ANY boobs (like, any), and then after because it felt weird TO have boobs. needless to say, i like t-shirts. fucking sue me, you know? </div>
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it took me years, fucking YEARS, to learn how to dress myself. i mean... obviously i could dress myself, but i never felt like "me". i was always too poor to buy clothes, too. 2008-2010 i was practically a professional couch surfer due to like... family shit, and mental health shit. as a matter of fact, both of the bras i own NOW are hand-me-downs from friends... friends that i'm not even friends with anymore. my bras have outlasted my friendships, essentially. and the kicker is... i still don't really feel comfortable buying clothes, like, the concept is so strange to me, in a way. i get overwhelmed and underwhelmed all at once. there are SO many choices but... i'm kinda unimpressed by most of it? kindof like when you have 584930580394 channels on t.v. but you can't find anything interesting enough to watch? i guess? that's how i feel about buying clothes. </div>
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but the point of this post that i'm trying to make is... i wish i had developed a sense of style earlier on in life, with more femininity. i was a terrible dresser for most of my adolescence (with a couple of rad outfits sprinkled here and there), and the whole being-bad-at-dressing-thing where i was uncomfortable with my clothes but unsure of how to change it was at least partially due to my fear? and confusion? of my own femininity. i didn't realize you could go kindof halfway and still pull it off. nowadays, i dress uber feminine a lot, with makeup and junk, and my hair "done" (i'm still terrible with makeup and hair, and i've never had a manicure, but i've come SO far in the grand scheme of things) but i still feel comfortable with myself. or sometimes, actually, i DO feel uncomfortable but i just power through it because yeah, obviously a tight dress isn't as comfy as a tshirt, but, like, tight dresses are awesome, anyway? i guess you learn from making bad fashion decisions (tell that to my myspace photos, mirite?), and practice makes perfect. so, yeah, i can dress up and be feminine but the majority of the time i still rock awesome outfits in jeans and tshirts and boots and stuff with messy ass hair and a scowl. i'm still me either way. and i wish 15 year old me could've known that. i also wish 15 year old me had an allowance. and 19 year old me... well, maybe 19 year old me could settle for, like, a job. </div>
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anyhow..., it boggles my mind, this epic fashion journey i've had. i mean, i make outfits a lot online and most of them are p elaborate but for like a year str8 i literally only had one pair of pants and two shirts so, it's just confusing at times, for me. obviously i had all the potential to be a fab dresser in the WORLD (obvs because i'm so gr8), so why did i have this crazy mental block over fashion and femininity for so long? maybe it was just the way i was brought up? i had no exposure to women, really, aside from my sister, who only allowed me to steal glances of her life through peeped fingers, so girls always simultaneously fascinated me, and scared me, like wild animals in zoos. interestingly enough a lot of my closest friendships throughout my life were with girls, really, super, girly-girl girls... although my two closest friends growing up were both tomboys themselves, and proud of it. it's funny how you determine that kindof crap as a kid. i felt like "tomboy" and "girlygirl" were both so definitive at the time, but obviously now i see that there is a beautiful spectrum and we were all girls, together, regardless of whether or not we liked to do makeup and hair or skateboard or roughhouse or whatever. my friends were girls who thought they were better than other girls because they weren't "GIRLY" girls, and being a tomboy made them feel superior in a way. i think it's possible that we were all just intimidated by femininity, or, societies feminine ideal. it's a lot to ask of a girl, you know, to suddenly hit puberty and know all of the right things to do or say to fit into that "GIRL" box. i didn't even have BOOBS yet, but if i wanted a boy to like me, i had to wear a dress? is that right, cosmogirl? or, like, shave or something? you know? it's so confusing growing up, and i never wanted to, so i wore highwaters and too-small clothes because they were familiar.</div>
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and that's a perfect example of how feminism has helped me so much. i always thought growing up that you had to be a type of girl, or a kind of girl. i felt like a "kinda" girl for awhile, somewhere in the middle between a boy and girl, all because i didn't know how to be "pretty". i realize now that just by being myself i am a girl. not a tomboy or a girlygirl... but a woman. and i don't have to fit myself into that box if i don't want to, fuck that stupid box. i'll wear what feels comfy. i determine what i look like and it's so powerful, and liberating, knowing that i'm not crazy, that everything i've been taught about gender growing up is actually the crazy shit. i guess... if 15 year old me had known about feminism, she could've been a better dresser. right? and a better person. but i digress. this has been a super long winded post about how i feel justified still dressing like a tween girl even tho i'm grown. I NEVER GOT TO DRESS LIKE A TWEEN GIRL (when i was a tween girl, at least!) i skipped that. i was the awkward one hiding in a giant, bright orange pullover sweater that was 6 sizes too big for me, chewing on my hands. the whole" teen girl" aesthetic probably appeals to me so much because it's everything that i wanted to achieve as a young, lost tomboy, but couldn't. i envy well-dressed teenagers now, but it also makes me happy. still, i wish i could re-do it sometimes, and be the coolest teen EVER.<br />
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oh well. i guess i'll just have to settle for being the coolest 24 year old ever still playing dress up ; ) i have more money now, and i can drink legally, so i suppose it all evens out in the end.<br />
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-22264940131968628982014-03-13T21:16:00.001-07:002014-03-13T21:34:12.156-07:00TBT<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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enjoy these good looks from the past. i don't take photos much, but i gif the fuq out of my life, truly. i mostly track my hair growth and outfits. that's not weird, right?</div>
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anyh00, I got those socks from Michael's for like, a buck. And I instantly lost them because that's how my life typically rolls. And then I get new socks. And then the process repeats. Etc. I'm sure everyone has this complicated of a relationship with their socks. Also, I have no idea where those tights went. They were probably ripped by my Godzilla legs (I say this with pride and not disgust, Godzilla is fucking awesome and so am I!) like most of my tights, and I think I got them on sale @ Charlotte Rousse? Or something like that. After the fall season when all the fall coloured tights were on sale. I have no idea how much I paid for them. Now, the skirt I bought at my local Goodwill for around 5 bux. I was ecstatic. The red kangaroo t-shirt is also from the Goodwill. It has a real fuzzy kangaroo on it that you can pet and underneath it has a yellow embroidered, "AUSTRALIA". I love it. It's pretty entertaining to pet, actually. I had those round ass glasses for the longest time, but they broke somehow. Are you noticing a pattern here? I am notoriously destructive... and forgetful. They were cheap, though, the cheapest pair, I believe, available on Zennioptical.com. That is... until I needed to buy a new pair. Then I discovered that the stupid website had DISCONTINUED MY PERFECT GLASSES. I still haven't fully recovered from this slight. I haven't been able to purchase new glasses and instead opt to wear an older pair that I H8. In the last gif I am wearing a very comfortable sweater that I love. It's just a plain blue sweater but I wear it with a lot of things and it's super comfy and familiar. Underneath I have a checkered(?) collared shirt that I wear to the beach a lot. The sweater wasn't purchases so much as it was acquired? Not that I stole it, I simply tend to acquire clothing that I have no idea where it came from. Mystery clothes. Perhaps I have a clothes fairy (how awesome would that be tho???) and the checkered shirt was also bought at the Goodwill. I think it was six dollars? I don't spend much on clothes, really. Or, at least, I didn't. I guess now that I have a job I spend a bit more on clothes. It's nice, being able to buy things, but it's a little overwhelming having the option to pick clothing out to wear v.s. having to scrounge together change and settle for whatever was in the thrift store/in a friend's closet. It's weirdly challenging. I think I actually prefer the spontaneity of thrift shopping, you know, kindof having to work with what you find. I would also like to note that I DESPERATELY miss my locks. My pretty hairs. I hated it it at the time, but, it's funny... I kindof miss it now!</div>
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-85051558214410522822014-02-17T02:06:00.000-08:002014-02-18T15:37:36.068-08:00HAPPY (LATE) VDAY<div style="text-align: center;">
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"Happy Valentimes Day!"</div>
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"Goodbye, Valentine."</div>
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Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-82135197397396798252013-12-03T09:51:00.003-08:002013-12-03T10:41:19.299-08:00my r00m<br />
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-75361992803454030502013-09-28T12:28:00.000-07:002013-09-28T12:28:00.930-07:00inspo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-70902715723828468762013-08-20T22:03:00.000-07:002013-08-27T20:59:03.624-07:00mutant dates<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-53017480992225137982013-07-02T15:04:00.001-07:002013-07-02T15:04:17.280-07:00birthday cake icecream sundae w/sprinkles, pls<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-23640324313953103002013-05-31T12:43:00.000-07:002013-05-31T12:46:34.466-07:00old & new<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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SOME NEW DOODLES:</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hj_IR6_ZfbI/Uaj7MQv_4ZI/AAAAAAAACAI/zxP3_HuPWYs/s1600/kittycat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hj_IR6_ZfbI/Uaj7MQv_4ZI/AAAAAAAACAI/zxP3_HuPWYs/s640/kittycat.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-piMos31aYwY/Uaj7M3bw04I/AAAAAAAACAQ/ZePFcuCc2Q0/s1600/new-clothes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-piMos31aYwY/Uaj7M3bw04I/AAAAAAAACAQ/ZePFcuCc2Q0/s640/new-clothes.jpg" width="510" /></a></div>
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A NEW DRESS ($7 at the goodwill and it doesn't fit me @ all but i MAKE IT WERK)</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K-5IpCxQUVw/Uaj7M59_LUI/AAAAAAAACAU/FalKFmin76Y/s1600/tumblr_mnegdnQCoE1qcwvrzo1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K-5IpCxQUVw/Uaj7M59_LUI/AAAAAAAACAU/FalKFmin76Y/s640/tumblr_mnegdnQCoE1qcwvrzo1_1280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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AND SOME PHOTOS FROM MY BDAY (4/7) THAT I NEVER POSTED!</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bMlLblkEEmI/Uaj7854vVYI/AAAAAAAACBE/cmLZjwhMrC4/s1600/IMG_4317.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bMlLblkEEmI/Uaj7854vVYI/AAAAAAAACBE/cmLZjwhMrC4/s640/IMG_4317.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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my sodas</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U6jnmo-izSI/Uaj78ZSK5iI/AAAAAAAACA0/6Dub0W-SKKE/s1600/IMG_4330.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U6jnmo-izSI/Uaj78ZSK5iI/AAAAAAAACA0/6Dub0W-SKKE/s640/IMG_4330.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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my bart doll, hangin' on a wall</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6ZYW2LRRG3w/Uaj78vzTVtI/AAAAAAAACA4/pYNvb7W_d7E/s1600/IMG_4391.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6ZYW2LRRG3w/Uaj78vzTVtI/AAAAAAAACA4/pYNvb7W_d7E/s640/IMG_4391.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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one of the many bday cakes i got (but my fav) (ty stephanie)</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QDNAKnl3648/Uaj781_JywI/AAAAAAAACBA/7PGoAu_HrSs/s1600/IMG_4563.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QDNAKnl3648/Uaj781_JywI/AAAAAAAACBA/7PGoAu_HrSs/s640/IMG_4563.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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my ghost necklace</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Zj0J0xaWwuk/Uaj79X3UarI/AAAAAAAACBQ/ALsmb3xlQ4c/s1600/IMG_4575.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Zj0J0xaWwuk/Uaj79X3UarI/AAAAAAAACBQ/ALsmb3xlQ4c/s640/IMG_4575.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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my bday pin</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OwroZkYp99Q/Uaj7-L2uuhI/AAAAAAAACBc/k4UX2s2aDRU/s1600/IMG_4577.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OwroZkYp99Q/Uaj7-L2uuhI/AAAAAAAACBc/k4UX2s2aDRU/s640/IMG_4577.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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molly's pill (1) </div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aUypntuRp9w/Uaj79ySfkmI/AAAAAAAACBY/BeKKaPm5sgI/s1600/IMG_7955.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aUypntuRp9w/Uaj79ySfkmI/AAAAAAAACBY/BeKKaPm5sgI/s640/IMG_7955.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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pretty coloured things in SD</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4AKajG7LryM/Uaj7-ERX5eI/AAAAAAAACBg/ApKviCDTsbc/s1600/IMG_7960.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4AKajG7LryM/Uaj7-ERX5eI/AAAAAAAACBg/ApKviCDTsbc/s640/IMG_7960.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cn9UNiFX0Q4/Uaj7-tT3B0I/AAAAAAAACBs/TSK3TvHnM7A/s1600/_MG_7886.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cn9UNiFX0Q4/Uaj7-tT3B0I/AAAAAAAACBs/TSK3TvHnM7A/s640/_MG_7886.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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a pin i wore on my tights</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WM7wlcJ0dDA/Uaj7-5dLKmI/AAAAAAAACB8/mRXx8ARt_S4/s1600/_MG_7942.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WM7wlcJ0dDA/Uaj7-5dLKmI/AAAAAAAACB8/mRXx8ARt_S4/s640/_MG_7942.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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more pretty colors</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zibeteaw8nk/Uaj7_Zr7pVI/AAAAAAAACCA/X3_PTF1iASE/s1600/_MG_7948.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zibeteaw8nk/Uaj7_Zr7pVI/AAAAAAAACCA/X3_PTF1iASE/s640/_MG_7948.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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ArT</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DzefsLnKYPs/Uaj8AZU7n-I/AAAAAAAACCc/v_7V2tYIxjU/s1600/_MG_7953.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DzefsLnKYPs/Uaj8AZU7n-I/AAAAAAAACCc/v_7V2tYIxjU/s640/_MG_7953.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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aRt</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YiNdrGNDJF0/Uaj8B1GyJbI/AAAAAAAACC0/RuSXRdDVMLg/s1600/_MG_8007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YiNdrGNDJF0/Uaj8B1GyJbI/AAAAAAAACC0/RuSXRdDVMLg/s640/_MG_8007.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
a ripped, favorite sweater</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uYM0AWhtjH8/Uaj8ACgqV_I/AAAAAAAACCY/rxd44PT4xb0/s1600/_MG_7968.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uYM0AWhtjH8/Uaj8ACgqV_I/AAAAAAAACCY/rxd44PT4xb0/s640/_MG_7968.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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sd cacti (1)</div>
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sd cacti (2)</div>
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molly's pill (2)</div>
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more ARt</div>
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Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1543050480150496157.post-34277697195344053822013-05-17T16:45:00.003-07:002013-05-17T16:45:26.818-07:00ART CRAP<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Hex-Girlfriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08316655017448161567noreply@blogger.com0